Acting ridiculous never killed anyone
by Rain on your Back
Summary: ... and he's really grateful for that, because today is the day he faces his phobia. [Plotless MarcoXMeene fluff. Gift for LugiaP2K's christmas]


**...Acting ridiculous never killed anyone...**

**Author**: Rain

**Rating**: K

**Characters/Pairing**: MarcoXMeene

This is a gift for Lugia2PK's christmas! Thus it can be a little hard to get into from the outside. Though I guess Marco's ridiculous shenanigans can amuse pretty much anyone.

Sweet short piece that would probably fit in our Aftermath -verse. Nothing too serious. HJ and MarcoXMeen' are in established relatonships.

* * *

"Nothing bad is going to happen if you stay where you can touch the ground, you know that by now."

Meene said that as calmly as possible, keeping any hint of exasperation or annoyance out of her tone. She stood thigh-deep in the ocean water, a good ten feet away from the man who stood stubbornly on the wet sand. He was adamant on not getting even his toe wet. If she let him have his way, he would stay in the shade of their umbrella for their entire week-end; and then it would look like she dated a Vampire. Sighing, she placed her hands on her hips.

"I would have hoped my attire was enough to attract your eye," she said, as if dejectedly, but attracted no signifying response.

Ah... It was disappointing. This was supposed to be a fun day. After settling down in a warm, comfortable home on the Italian coast, the two of them had found themselves buried under the weight of the work they had to do. And so it made sense, after six years of living so close to the ocean without ever seeing it, that they would take take a day or two and simply have fun and relax on the beach.

Or so they had hoped.

Meene wouldn't have guessed easily that Marco had a fear of salt water. The guy had gotten them a whole _ship_, for crying out loud. Plus he came from warm Italy. It made little sense to her.

It wasn't even a fear - or rather, it had other roots than fear. There was worried disgust in his refusal, as if the very thought made his skin crawl. It was safe, though! But he wouldn't hear any of it. So she had spent the most of their morning trying to gently coax him into at least making an attempt.

From her left came a joyful shout. Meene glanced at the two shadows near the end of the beach. Jeanne and Hao were near the water too, and from what she gathered from afar the latter had just thrown the former in the sea. Eh, they were cute.

Jeanne had grown a lot these past years. And she was spending a great lot of time with him lately. That prompted more sulking from Marco, of course, and it was probably for the best that they weren't playing too close. At first they were meant to stay close to one another - this day was also part of the girls' grander scheme to try and bring the two men to some kind of understanding - but... Well. Marco's, ah, issues, had sparked a mocking laugh from Hao, and he'd been exiled almost immediately by Jeanne. And Jeanne herself, not wanting to leave him alone, had departed soon after, leaving only the two of them to struggle with the blond man's phobia. From Gabriel's last report, the youngsters were having fun on their own. And though she had worried about some strange proposition of Hao's - who had asked Jeanne to let him spread sun lotion on her back - the former X-Law had decided that, since he was a ghost, the threat couldn't be too great.

But even with that great hurdle, Hao had probably made more progress in his plans than Meene had. They'd been on the edge of the water for about an hour now, and all Marco had agreed to do was take a quick shower at the entrance (not knowing, luckily, that it was salt water too) and had put his hands in, watching in dismay as the sandy water covered his skin and retreating just as quickly as the tide. From then on, he had offered a long list of excuses ranging from fear of parasites, fear of drowning, fear of eel-like strands of seaweed coming his way. Meene was nearly at her wits' end.

"Commander, you're behaving like a baby. At this rate I'll be old and grey before the water ever touches you!"

He scowled darkly. "Why does it have to anyways? I am having fun _just fine _over here."

"Because..." Because he wasn't having fun. That was plain to see. But that wouldn't work; if she tried to contradict him, she would make him mad. So she tried something else. "Because you can't hide your whole life from what you're afraid of. You faced Hao and Luchist, for god's sake. It's not a bit of water that'll throw you off, will it?" She narrowed her eyes.

Marco wouldn't be tricked so easily. "It's not... only a bit of water, though. It's an entire s_ea_ and it's connected to the _Atlantic Ocean."_

She rolled her eyes. "Come on, please! Just for a moment?" Her arms had fallen back to her sides, and her face had taken a pleading look.

Unfortunately for the poor Italian, Meene's exaggerated face was not easy to deny, though he would of course never admit as much out loud. He could only imagine the countless ways she could take advantage of him with such knowledge.

"Fine..." His reply lacked any kind of enthusiasm, but she didn't mention it. With a deep sigh, the blondie started inching closer to the water, before stepping in cautiously. His lips twitched as the salt water touched his toes. As far as he was concerned this was a _wildly _different feeling than pool or shower water. It was as if he could feel every grain of sand and salt floating in there. Gh. "Only a few steps, though."

Her face lit up like a child's at his compliance, and she grinned gently as he stepped further in the water. Oh, how he hated that face right now - though it was probably very pleasing, but it only made it harder to refuse her, and so he wished she wouldn't be so utterly cute. But by now Meene was cheering him on with her grand smiles and gentle words, so he couldn't just go back. Far from pleased, Marco took another few steps. It was a rather steep fall, and soon enough he was knee-deep. But she was still far - was she - _was she walking backward as he went?_ He almost started screaming. Didn't let out a sound. Went on with his cautious steps.

His eyes trained on her face only, the blond man cautiously walked forward. As soon as she was within reach, he went to grab her wrists and anchor himself in place, as if she would be able to help him if a rogue wave tried to snatch him away. Meene let out a small chuckle, then stopped when she noticed the twinge of embarassment in his lips. Oh well. With a sheepish shrug, she commented: "See? You're all right, Marco. I knew you could do it. It's good here, right?"

Not wanting to admit anything, the blondie glanced around. "... Okay. How about we went back? You got me in the water, it's enough...  
\- Not now! Come on, Commander. You _know _that if we get out now, Hao will laugh in your face for the rest of the day. Just follow me," she answered quickly with a comforting smile.

His lips thin against one another, the blond man nodded somberly and allowed her to drag him further out. It felt very... weird, that was as far as he could go to explain it. His every movement was slowed down and took much more effort as he waddled into chillier, darker waters. He really needed to stop letting her influence him so much. She had too dangerous a taste for him. Joining a military group to fight a thousand-years-old murderer was one thing, but going chest-deep into the _ocean _was a totally different thing-

Wait. Chest-deep?

His train of thoughts broken, the blondie stopped short, tightening his hold over her arms as if to stop her as well. So... deep... He couldn't run anymore. He could barely move, unless he ressorted to swimming, and swimming in such dirty water... He was stuck. Oh God, he couldn't die just yet. There was so much he hadn't lived! Being dragged away by some sea-monster was not part of the experiences he wished to have when his end came.

"So, Commander. You can see it's not so bad, now that you're in the water," Meene smiled as she let go of his hands and waddled backwards in deeper waters.

She let go of his hands.

She _let go_ of his hands!

"W-wait, where are you going?" This definitely was a yelp. A shrill one at that. He had tried to contain himself, but as panic settled in he lost control.

"Relax, I'm right here," the brunette smiled, raising an arm to show that she could almost touch him. Keeping his hands still safely above the cold water, Marco glanced down. He could see his blurred body in the blue depths. Everytime a wave passed them, he made a small jump to try and keep the rest of his body dry. (It wasn't working so well. Also he looked ridiculous.) "I- I don't really like this. Can you come closer? Can we go back now?"

"Marco, just stay calm, we-  
_\- Lieutenant Meene!_  
\- Okay, _fine_, we'll go back, give me a second."

No sooner had she said these words that Marco felt something graze past his calf. He then obviously proceeded to completely freak out and move about like he was attacked by a thousand invisible monsters. Obviously.

* * *

"What's going on over there, I wonder...?  
\- Hm?" Hao turned his head as Jeanne spoke, and stopped towelling his hair for a second. When he noticed the two adults making grand splashes in the water he had a sigh of annoyance. "They're being idiots, if you ask me. Don't bother investigating."

The blond man was obviously freaking out. His arms were flailing around, sending salt water everywhere as he fended off his unseen assaillant. Meene protested loudly as she took most of the splashing right in the face, and tried to protect herself by turning away and raising her arms in front of her eyes. Hao couldn't really make out the hows and whys, but after a few minutes Meene came out of the ocean alone, flustered and clearly done with her boyfriend.

"N-no! Meene, come back here, don't leave me stranded!" There was clear desperation in the Italian man's voice, but it went unheeded.

"It's the last time I try to change that rockhead's mind," Meene hissed as she strode past Jeanne and her ghost friend, ignoring them as if they were sandcastles.

Hao smirked at her scowling face. "Told her so," he said in a sing-song voice. Jeanne sighed, and felt glad that the older woman hadn't heard him.

Smiling awkwardly, the albino rose. "I guess I have to rescue him now. Be right back." And while she stood up and half-heartedly ran to the sea, Hao sank onto Jeanne's inflateable mattress.

"With my luck, he won't even drown."


End file.
